Well it is time again for my next chemo treatment and I am trying to drum up the courage. Each time it is getting a little more difficult to snap back. The encouraging thing is that I only have two more cycles left. The other thing that I have to keep reminding myself is that the chemo is working, and it is going after all the cancer so I need to be thankful.
My scripture reading that I found helpful today was from Matthew 14:27
" Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid. "
This passage is about the disciples when they were on the boat and saw what they thought was a ghost walking on water. They were terrified. Then Jesus said "Take courage it is I. Don't be afraid." Then Peter said, "Lord if it is you tell me to come to you." The Lord said, "come". So Peter had faith enough and got out of the boat, walked on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him; "you of little faith" he said, "why did you doubt?"
Peter began to sink because he took his eyes off Jesus, and focused only on the high waves around him. His faith wavered when he realized he was walking on water.
The same is with me. I have seen and felt the Lord's presence through this whole journey. I have had faith that He is with me at all times. I have had wonderful reports back on being cancer free at this time. Yet, when I stop to think about the chemo and it's side effects or the possibility of the cancer returning again, I am like Peter and can only focus on the waves and difficulties around me. I begin to sink.
I remind myself of the many times I have seen the face of Christ through all of you as I continue this journey. He has been faithful to me no matter what the final outcome will be. I have felt His presence. So, as I go for this next round, I see Him saying to me," You of little faith, why did you doubt?" "Take courage It is I. Don't be afraid."
To all of you, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This journey would have been so difficult without your support.
xxoo Mary and family